Shabnam Khan - Family Counsellor
Reflecting on the small changes each of us can make in our lives, the one that stood out was the most basic of all.  It’s the decision we make every single day when we wake up about how to approach the day.  Are we going to feel sorry for ourselves, or are we going to take responsibility for our own happiness?   Are we going to look for what’s wrong and find it?  Or are we going to look for what’s right and find that instead?  Will we see the problems or the opportunities? Will we be part of the problem or part of the solution?  Will we be judgmental about the life or accepting?  All these questions, and so many more like them, can be bundled up into one package called attitude.  Attitude can be summed up in one word - choice.  Choosing to change our attitude may seem like a small change, but it can’t happen unless we recognize that it is all up to us.  Do we realize that we have the choice to make our day joyful, adventurous and exciting. Or do we demand that life be a certain way, and if it doesn’t meet our expectations we whine and complain? We can complain because it’s rainy, or we can be thankful that the grass will get water! We can grumble about our health or we can  rejoice that you are alive! We can whine that we have to go to work, or we can be thankful that we have job! When we get right down to it, we either believe we are the choice maker or we don’t.  When you see the rampant unhappiness and victimization in our culture, it’s clear that most people don’t see that we do have the choice.  At the same time, when you take a step back and think about it, it’s pretty obvious. If we aren’t the choice maker, who is? If we don’t decide what kind of day we’re going to have, who does? That’s why this subtle shift in thinking is one of the more significant changes we will ever make.  Consciously choosing a better attitude will make a big difference.  Think about the implications.  You can choose to complain about your teenager, or you can be thankful that you have a teenager to love!  Why choose the path of complaint over the path of gratitude? You can make an articulate argument for either side - being grateful or being overextended. One will lead you towards satisfaction, and the other        towards guaranteed and sustained grief.                                                             

The most beautiful part of all is, it’s your choice!
shabnam@skcounselling.ca